I heard a sound I hadn't heard in quite a while, when I slowed down enough to listen. It had a familiar feeling - of comfort and safety. I listened ever closely, with the ears of my heart wide open - ready to receive. It whispered a message that I needed to hear, yet had forgotten: "This moment is all you have, so rest in the here and now. Everything is in perfect order, so let go of your grip. Trust in the unfolding, because this moment is all we ever have."
A wave of peace entered my heart this morning, as I awoke. I've been hung up on imaginary future outcomes. I've been trudging my feet along the mud road of where I've been heading. Anguish gloomed over tomorrow. I've been carrying the burden of the dread of the unknown potentials of tomorrow. Fear gripped me and sucked the joy out of experiences. I found that my thoughts were draining me.
This is one ah-ha moment I've come upon lately... that it's my thoughts draining me. I've been recent commitments to work on my attitudes and perspectives on things. I've wanted to enjoy experiences better, so I have been working on taking responsibility of my part in the experience. I am not a victim of life. I am not a victim of experiences. I have choice. I choose to do the best I can to see the good in life.
Yet, I cannot lie: I am human. I will continue to emphasize this in my blogs, because, well... there's the reality of situations, and I like to be realistic. Things are not perfect all the time. I like to be honest about things. I like to say how I truly feel about a situation. I just have to work on not dwelling on those perspectives and feelings.
I recently had been getting to a place of chronic negative thinking in certain areas of my life. After plenty of reflection, I've been realizing that most of my negative thinking was happening in present moment, but I was always thinking about the future or past. So, for example, a situation didn't turn out how it hoped to be... I might dwell on how my expectations weren't met. Then I would take that experience of unmet expectations and project them into the future or ruminate on how they had happened in the past. I created many negative thoughts and beliefs about the experience just by dwelling on a possible future or a disappointing past, while completely neglecting the present moment.
The present moment offers freedom from the prison of this mindset.
Well.. because... it is a prison. It's a prison of thought patterns that completely miss the serenity of now.
Thought patterns like this lock you in a cell of regret and anxiety. They close your heart and bind your mind to the limitations of fake realities.
My key to freedom has been found in continual prayer to be brought back to center and truth. When I am in this prison, I emotionally feel in agony. I feel such a disconnection that I long for the shift back to peace. Serenity above all else.
I've been finding serenity in the moments that I practice presence in the here and now. I cannot control what happened in the past, nor can I control the future.
If things disappoint me in the moment, I am actively working on giving myself permission to feel that disappoint, letting it come and go as a wave, and knowing that, "This too shall pass."
Some days this is easier than others. Some days this is so tough, I have to call in the power of radical acceptance and wait it out until it passes, which has been days sometimes.
This morning I found the blessing of remembrance. This morning I felt the genuine and sincere desire to pray for help moving forward. I prayed to keep my intentions at the core of all my actions, so that when things "got tough", I had the foundation of intentionality to sit upon. I can't anticipate how things will turn out, but I can call in the power of a Higher Power to help keep me peaceful and accepting.
Today I felt a boost of trust, and I hope that you have moments like these too. Trust that everything will be okay. Trust that it all is guided by a loving Presence. Trust that we can find serenity through any experience. Trust that it is all here to teach us something. Trust that we can trust.
Trusting trust....
Do you trust Trust?
Right here and now I feel grateful to breathe. I feel grateful to be in this body. I feel grateful for everything that has led me to this very exact moment. I look forward to the future with an open heart of curiosity. I can't wait to see what is in store.
Thanks for reading, have a blessed day!!